Lessons in Leadership – Week 12 – Charlie Price and Emily Lang

Charlie and Emily discussed at length the idea of “learning from losers” and “lessons from losing.” What have you learned from the times, situations, or events where you have “lost” and how has this informed your leadership development?

Comments

  • Caralyne Conley

    I have learned a lot from lessons in losing throughout life. In highschool I lost an election, which was really hard, but I learned that I am not in control of my life, God is and how everything does NOT always go as planned. It was definitely a hard lesson to learn but I’m very glad I did because I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I think losing teaches more lessons than winning, and even though it’s hard in the end you are benefiting. It formed my leadership development because I have become more prone to backup plans and being okay with change.

  • Mackenzie Goings

    Losing is never a good feeling. I know this to be true from the times that I have lost whether it was a campaign or a bad grade or friendships, etc. Losing has taught me that even if you feel like you cannot move on, you must find that strength. It is also important to examine the reasons why you have lost so that you can learn from your mistakes. Even though it is painful to lose, it can teach us so much about ourselves. Losing has definitely shaped who I am as a leader today. I can sympathize with those who have lost because I know the pain that they are going through. Losing has also made me more motivated to do my best. Overall, even though losing is not a fun experience, it is definitely a crucial learning aspect to leadership.

  • Alexia Brown

    When I was young, I often held myself back from opportunities in life because I was afraid of losing. It is hard for me to look at failures and learn from them as I spend too much time in the phase of wondering where it all went wrong. I was a cheerleader my entire four years in high school and loved flying through the air more than anything. I had very humbling and tough coaches that pushed me harder than I was ever pushed before. As the cheer world evolved and added a branch of cheer known as STUNT, we were all under stress over which flyer would get the spots. We all had a drive and hunger for the hardest level stunts and clawed at each other to get them. My third year of STUNT was the hardest. I was only getting easy level stunts and felt like a failure. It was hard to look at my teammates and cheer them on, because they were in the spots I wanted. This toxic behavior brought me two options: pout or work harder to get the spots. The lower levels while not as difficult, required a lot of fundamental skills that were easier said than done. After working everyday as much as I could I mastered those basic skills and they were the cleanest they could be, I still did not get the spots I wanted. I was very disappointed, but one day a girl that was in the second toughest level stunt did not come, because she did not feel like it. My coach told me that this was not the kind of behavior she liked and put me in. I killed the stunt, because I had mastered the basic ones to make it look good. That skill put us in the finals later on in the season.

  • Cooper McCoy

    Well in high school I lost a lot in high school football. That always sucked, but I learned a lot about how to be a leader. My junior year I was named a team captain for my team. This came with a lot of unwritten responsibility. We started the season with 9 straight losses. Everyone on the team was just over the whole season. People were ready to move on to their next sport or offseason, but I was not. We only had one more game left in the season, and I called a team meeting with players only. I got to sit down with them and motivate them to end the season on a good note. For the last game of the year we won by 50 points.

  • Trinity Major

    I would say for me what I had gain the most from loosing is learning to humble myself. My worse lost came from not making it into a orchestra contest. I was so use to not necessarily having to try too hard because I was always good enough to get through. However this year was different I was competing against those more experienced then myself. After loosing I learned that just enough is going to be enough when you are trying to accomplish things in life. This helped humble me and make my work ethic much stronger.

  • Madilyn Rhynes

    Losing truly sucks. I am pretty competitive and strive to win and do everything the best that I can. Losing is not fun at all, but you can learn some of your greatest life lessons from your lowest points. One of the times in my life that I had to learn from a loss was my senior year in high school cross country. I was running at regionals and fell into a creek less than 400 meters from the finish line. I tried so hard to get up and finish the race, but I couldn’t feel my right knee. My dad picked me up out of the creek and took me to the medical tent. I was in a lot of physical pain, but I also was so upset because I felt I had let my coach and my team down. I knew there was slim to no chance that we could go to state. I was so disappointed that my last race in my cross country career ended with me not finishing the race and injured. The medical tent examiner thought I had a burst bursa sacc in my knee. It was best I didn’t continue to run, as I could have further injured myself. I remember feeling so down on my way home and disappointed in how the season had ended. I got a call from my coach and she was ecstatic. We were going to state!! I was so happy for my team. They worked so hard and had earned it. Throughout the next week I met with a trainer to help me recover in hope that I could run at state. I persevered and trained hard and my coaches let me run at state. Although this loss turned into a win, I learned several lessons from this experience. I learned to not take anything you normally can do for granted, as it can be taken from you. I also learned that I can persevere and that my body can do more than I think it can. Running is truly a mental sport. I am thankful for this loss as it taught me some great things, even if I couldn’t see it in the moment. I even have a scar on my knee to remind me of what I can and have overcome.

  • Paighton Barnes

    Like most people, I have experienced many times of loss and have learned many things. One example is during high school, I fractured my shin during the cross country season. By the time I got back into the season, my times were slower and I knew I would never win a race, however I kept pushing to get better. I learned of perseverance and putting in your all even if you might not succeed. Another example is from my Esports team. The League of Legends team at UCO is new this year, thus we are still developing. We have worked countless hours to get better, however, we continue to lose matches simply due to the skill gap we have to close. After each loss, we evaluate the game with our coach. We have learned many new concepts and tools to improve our communication and gameplay through each loss. Overall, losses are extremely important for people to experience because they force you to examine what went wrong and improve.

  • JAYDEN Garner

    After hearing Charlie and Emily talk about “losing” it made me realize how much we relate with losing. Playing 3 sports in high school and being a Leader in all 3 it is really important to keep everyones heads up after a tough loss or failing at something they’ve tried their best in. Coming to college and playing football it is really important to hold your ground when it comes to losing at something and not just giving up and being there for someone who is wanting to give up. Ive always thought that from losing a game or anything that you have done if you’ve tried your hardest and gave it your all then you didn’t lose you just learned from it. Ive always brought that with me that way I never think of it as losing something and keeping a good mental mindset.

  • Jayden CMarshall

    one big thing I have learned from losing is humility. I am a big arguer I love arguing. I love having discussions about different point of views and debating on those. I like to think I am pretty good at arguing. I argue logically instead of emotionally. One time I was having a fun argument with someone and lost the argument. In my head it was a fun argument, but I got so caught up in expressing my points I failed to notice they were not having fun. I ended up losing fair and square and was fine with that. At the end of the argument the person I was arguing with was visually upset even though they had won. In that moment I noticed they were not arguing in the way I was. I realized others may not enjoy arguing the way I do. I learned humility in this loss. Just because I am good at arguing and enjoy it does not mean that I have to push to win cause I know I can. I learned to be more aware of others in situations like this to notice that they may not be having fun like I am.

  • Roarke Simpson

    I think a place where I have “lost” at least in leadership was a fundraiser event that my high school put on and I was one of the head directors of it. What that taught me was to simply pick myself up and that it is okay to fail, you just go back to the drawing board and try again. This has also shaped my leadership by kind of opening my mind to the fact that if I fail it is still okay. You might as well fail doing it 100% than fail just going through the motions. That to me is everything in leadership and is a big part in my leadership career.

  • Andrea Riano-Moreno

    I have loved all of the speakers so much but I would have to say that Emily and Charlie truly intrigued me deeply with their topic of discussion. I was really drawn to this topic because it is something that a lot of people may think about but don’t spend the time to truly analyze and get a learning lesson from. A quote that they included that really stuck with me this week was “Have the self-control to forget about it.” by John Wooden. I can think of countless times where I have failed in something that I really thought I would succeed in. At first it really really sucks, especially when it is in front of a lot of people, you feel like you just got punched in the gut. I can think of an example when I was on the swim team in high school and I went to my first swim meet, I was so ecstatic and I was ready to swim my heart out. In my first heat, I came in dead last place and my whole family was there to see me. I wanted to die in my humiliation but I remember my dad told me that I had two options, I could sulk in my sadness for the rest of my life, or I could learn from this experience and continue to work hard for my goals. Fast forward to a couple months later, I won my swim meet by coming in first place!

  • Taleaha Lee

    When I reflect on the times I lost, I remember the tears and the questions that surfaced. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that what is for me will be for me and what isn’t simply won’t be. When I lose I look at it as God has something greater for me and I can’t see it right now. Losing has transformed my abilities as a leader. It has shown me that true leaders are shown during the times of hardship not the victories. It’s how you come out not how you lose. Every loss is a lesson so really it’s a win. My losses have developed my motivation levels and caused me to continue on!!

  • Josh Reynolds

    I have learned a lot from being a loser. I have never really been the best at anything, I mean I have been pretty good but I am used to not being recognized as the winner of the best. What I have learned during my time of losing is two things; Reflection and winning doesn’t matter. I learned I get to reflect on myself and bounce back for next and not let my past failures hold me back, and I learned that it’s cool if you are at the top but it is a temporary feeling. My development as a leaders from this has been pretty straight forward, because when I reflect I get to see what I can improve on and look for the next thing.

  • Thad Williams

    Charlie and Emily explained in their speech that losing is not only normal but also beneficial in growing as a person and leader. I have had many failures in your life and all of them have caused feelings of disappointment and discouragement. However, after listening to this talk I now look back and realize all of the positive things that came out of my failures. For instance, I understand now that losing in the past has driven me to ensure that I am more prepared for challenges in my future. I also have learned that sometimes losses often open other doors that would have Never been possible without the failing that came shortly before. Nobody ever wants to fail, but it is inevitable, so it is how one reacts to that failure that makes them a successful leader.

  • Naomi Wharry

    One of the first times I experienced failure, I was a sophomore in high school. I tried out for an ensemble and got second chair for the first time in my life (to a senior trombonist), and I basically threw a fit. It was terrible, but I was so upset and all I could think about was how I felt in that moment. I did not think about the people around me who had not even come close to earning a spot in that ensemble that day, or about the example I was setting for the younger trombonists around me. I did not allow myself to think about anything except doing better at the next audition, which was good (I did better the next time) but I still had not quite grasped a lesson that I needed to learn at that point. The next year, I experienced a new, much greater loss -as far as auditioning. I worked really hard on something, and then experienced the feeling of those people that did not make the ensemble at all. I was absolutely devastated. At first, I just thought about how I could do better the next time (even though the next time would not be for another year) and I was sure that I would feel terrible until I was able to redeem myself that next year. But , I eventually had a realization- a “re-centering” of my goals and purpose for what I do. I took a step outside of myself and asked why I perform, why I play music. I thought about how I was viewing myself as a failure and even considering not playing anymore, or not trying anymore-for a brief second. I realized that I did not begin playing music just to win competitions, and that my love for music is in music itself and the ethereal effects it can have on people, and I was finally able to slap myself out of my toxic thoughts. I saw that my attitude was not helping me or anyone around me, and ever since then, I have been able to grow in amazing ways as well as improve the growth of those around me.

  • Victoria Bates

    One story that immediately came to mind when I started to think about this question was my experience in choosing a college. I toured both OU and OSU early on in my senior year and decided OSU was the place for me. After applying to OSU I received a few of the standard freshman scholarships but nothing that would make a dent in the high tuition and fees at OSU. I waited for each scholarship announcement and in the Spring was disappointed that I never ended up receiving as large of a scholarship as I felt I deserved. After I came to the conclusion that OSU would not be giving me enough financial aid to get through school on my own I began to look at other schools. Luckily, I ended up touring UCO. I immediately fell in love with the campus and the energy the students had, so I applied. Although I had applied to UCO I was still hopeful to attend OSU and began emailing my counselor as well as the scholarship boards. Eventually, I was offered an interview for the LOT scholarship, when I arrived on campus for that interview I couldn’t help but feel like I was (to quote highschool musical) at the start of something new and that I wanted to attend UCO. As you know I ended up being offered the LOT scholarship. I later found out at my graduation ceremony that a few weeks after I was offered the LOT scholarship I was also awarded a full-ride scholarship to OSU, which I ended up declining. Although OSU is a great school I wanted to go to a school that knew I had the potential to do great things and wanted to offer me ways to achieve them. The loss that I had when I did not receive the scholarship I thought I deserved at OSU taught me that sometimes your plan B ends up being better than what you initially had your heart set on. I also learned that sometimes losing forces you to open doors that you may not have even taken a second look at before. I know this was my case with UCO, and I am so glad that I did open this door. Overall this entire experience taught me to believe in myself and fight for what I deserve, this is a trait of many strong leaders in my opinion.

  • Savana McCabe

    It was so interesting that Charlie and Emily discussed losing in their speech on Tuesday because my roommate and I were just talking about the idea of losing and how it is important in the development of character. Both my roommate and I are dancers, and we grew up competing in dance competitions. I told my roommate a story about a dance competition I had practiced really hard for with one of my solos, but didn’t do well at the competition. I went to talk to my dance teacher afterwards, and I remember she told me that she was proud of the work I had done no matter the outcome. Then, she came up with the idea to try a different solo to see if that would work out better for me at the next competition. This experience taught me how to take the loss as a learning opportunity, and it taught me to think about what I can do differently the next time. I have taken these lessons I learned into my leadership experiences through applying the virtue of not being scared of failure because I know I can use loss or failure as a learning experience.

  • Taylor Schuff

    As we go through life, we have victories and we have failures, all of which prepares us for the future. When we lose, it can be heartbreaking but we have to get up and keep going. Their have been times where I have lost and in the moment I was disappointed but later on I was thankful for that outcome because it has opened other doors for me. I would have never of had those opportunies if I did not fail. Failing has taught me to keep working hard, never give up, and to be patient.

  • I’ve learned that losses often turn into lessons that make me a better individual. To me, “losses” aren’t necessarily a bad thing because they always turn into something that leads me into a greater outcome than I originally imagined. I find that my losses have helped shaped me to become the resilient person I am in the present. There’s always something more or bigger when I can come across a loss. Losing has helped my understanding of leadership development by upgrading my ability to persevere and allow myself to fully grow through the good and the bad. I always take any opportunity to build myself the best way possible.

  • Beyonce Hammond

    This campaign season I worked on Congresswoman Kendra Horn’s campaign and Abby Broyles and devoted an enormous amount of time to each. I put a lot of faith into these candidates ,I believed in what they stood for, and what they could do for Oklahoma. I think the thing that was my biggest realization after this loss was I can’t control everything. I can work my tail off and do anything humanly possible and still receive a loss. College has taught me that I may or may not have a control problem that I need to address. Whether that be group projects, putting everything in the right place in my room, or even the elections. Nonetheless, I know losses are a part of life and leadership and all I can do is reflect and improve if there’s room for improvement.

  • Alejandro Valdovinos

    Loss is a harsh and often unforgiving segment of life to go through. Losing at a sport. Losing a loved one. Feeling lost. These are all things we have dealt with at one point or another, and although at the time it kicks you down and keeps kicking, those feelings of regret and pain and hurt are meant to do that. They are made to do exactly those things, and what we are made to do is rise from that. Fight back. Fight harder- and fight differently. You don’t go through a loss for the situation to arise so you can do the same exact thing- you go through a loss so you may realize what went wrong. What happened, and why. Quite frankly i have learned from too many lessons of loss in my life. Losing a sport that is near and dear to my heart. Losing a loved one to addiction. These combined with a multitude of different factors have drove me to be who i am today. To rise up, to insight change not only in myself-but also those around me. Experience with loss has brought me to empathize, to communicate differently, to strive for a better world. My experiences with this is a huge motivator for my leadership style and work ethic.

  • Mariana Gonzalez

    We have lost a lot of things during these times. Whether it be our graduation or just a normal college experience we have not had the privilege of having, all in all it has been a lot. With this, there has been a lot of growth individually and for facilities. For me personally, it has taught me patience and discipline. I have learned to accept whatever comes my way and embrace it. For discipline it is doing everything and on time and adapting to the resources I have.

  • Mariana Gonzalez

    We have lost a lot of things during these times. Whether it be our graduation or just a normal college experience we have not had the privilege of having, all in all it has been a lot. With this, there has been a lot of growth individually and for facilities. For me personally, it has taught me patience and discipline. I have learned to accept whatever comes my way and embrace it. For discipline it is doing everything and on time and adapting to the resources I have. I know that we have a long way to go but all that is left to do is to keep pushing ourselves to the end.

  • McKenzie Bookout

    I loved how Charlie Price and Emily Lang talked about how losing is a great lesson in being a leader. As leaders, we know that we will not win every competition or argument in our lives, and winning is not everything, but what we take away from losing is what the real lesson is. When I was a sophomore in high school, I was competing to go to state in track. For my event, the 100m hurdles, we had to do a preliminary run and a final run. After the preliminary run, I was sitting in 2nd place, I qualified for finals, and I was a shoe-in for state. I had the mentality that I was already going to state. Once finals came, I tripped and fell for the second time ever, and ruined my chances on making state. I was distraught at the fact that I lost, but this did not make me give up. My junior year I was determined to not make my past mistake again, and eventually qualified for state, and I even ran a personal best. If I didn’t trip and fall my sophomore year, I wouldn’t have pushed myself so hard my junior year. Losing has made me become a better leader as I have been able to learn and grow from my losses. As much as it sucked to be a loser in that moment, it made me a winner in the long run.

  • I think losing is important. It happens to everyone at some point in life. Losing has taught me to not have a big head about things. It’s easy to get boastful and caught up in things when your life is going great. Sometimes a loss is necessary to bring you back down. Losing has taught me to have empathy. When you have the upper hand it is easy to look down on others who maybe aren’t having the best luck at the time. But if you have experienced losing, you can remember what that’s like and empathize.

  • Nicole Dirks

    Losing is a simple fact of life. Everyone must lose at some point, but learning from the loss can help turn a negative into a positive. When I was a young All-Star cheerleader we competed about six to seven times a year, in which we never won every competition in a single season. Our coach would tell us that our losses meant more than our wins because we received feedback from the judges that helped us improve. I am grateful that I was taught this from a young age because this helps me not allow the disappointment of a loss overwhelm the important lessons I can learn from these experiences. The ability to stay calm during a loss is an important characteristic for a leader.

  • It is safe to say I have learned infinitely more about myself from losing than when things actually go my way. One of the key things I have learned is that it is OK to take a breath after losing and to reflect upon what happened — like Emily had mentioned. However, after that, it is also important to move on and not beat yourself further down. Another thing I have learned is that losing can make you stronger and better prepared for the next time. If you have a growth mindset after failing, change and evolution are inevitable (in a good way). Finally, losing is imperative to leadership. A leader must fail many, many times before succeeding once. It’s all about trial and error. Leading others is not easy, but I’ve learned that the only way to gain experience in leadership is to put yourself out there — even at the cost of losing because you are not really losing if you are learning.

  • Perla Tovar

    I loved seeing the positivity and confidence that Charlie and Emily showed even through sharing their past failures. There was a time that I had lost an election to become our senior class president. It was something that I very much wanted. The thing is failure can be a good thing. It just depends what you do with it. Personally it showed me to continue to move forward even when I noticed work wasn’t being done. Even though, I didn’t have the title or recognition of being Class President, people knew. People knew the hard work I was putting in. I was glad to have lost the election because I noticed the personal growth in myself. At the end of the day, I didn’t “lose”, I won.

  • Angelina Newton

    I have lost many times in my life and it never truly gets easier. One thing I learned from these losses though is you should not let it develop a fear of failure. Many times, when we fail and get torn down it gets harder to get back up and sooner or later, we get tired of doing it at all. However, failure is how we learn to make something better or work harder the next time, which is reason enough to get back up and do it again. Another thing I learned is you can’t expect to win every time. Losing is a part of the process and sometimes someone else needs to win for a change. This has changed the way I look at my leadership positions as well because I realize sometimes others may have needed a win more than me and I have to be there to help others get back up too.

  • Jasmine Cooper

    The most teachable moments I have had were when I lost because losing is not always the end but the beginning of something greater. During my senior year of high school, I lost the election to be my senior class secretary. I was devasted but it was a blessing in disguise. I learned to not dwell on the past and learn from my mistakes. It informed me that I am not always the best fit for some roles, and I should let the ones who are lead the way. Even when I went to completions as a dancer, I would always learn the most from our losses. I was able to learn want needed to be worked on and how to be better for the next time. I then was able to take that back to my team and help the others with what they needed to work on so we could grow stronger as a team.

  • Brandy Bohanan

    In high school I remember losing a couple of basketball and softball games. After a loss we would sit in the locker room or out in the dugout and talk about what happened. We never would talk down on each other about what one person did or didn’t do. Instead we would talk about the good we did and what we needed to work on to get the win for the next game. Losing helped me to work harder in practice and play better in games. It showed that you can’t always win at everything and you’ll lose from time to time. Also, we can’t let it affect you negatively but to let it push you to do better.

  • Nicholas Cockerill

    As a musician, I’ve definitely had a lot of ‘lost’ moments in my life. One of the most sought after ranks is being first chair for All-State. It’s essentially a ranked test on your instrument for the entire state. I’ve been 2nd and 3rd in All-State which has actually motivated me more than my 1st chair’s I’ve gotten for All-Region. Sure it feels amazing to be number one or to win, but knowing someone is better than you or knowing someone reached a larger audience than you is one of the best ways to motivate yourself to improve. I think as a leader, you have to turn those losses into mental wins. Frankly, I think losing helps you more than winning because it gives you a greater sense of improvement than if you’re constantly winning or number one. Losing shows you that you’re human and have improving to do still.

  • Ryleigh Watkins

    Losing is hard. Emotionally, it’s embarrassing and disheartening. I hate losing. I am a very competitive person and I take everything straight to heart. When I lose, I have to remind myself that every time I have lost in my life so far, I was offered a better opportunity down the road. Life gave me better things, even if it wasn’t what I originally wanted at the time. When I lost my first speech competition I was super sad. I got very nervous in the middle of my speech and I blanked. I had to look at the panel of judges and tell them I couldn’t remember the rest. It was mortifying, but I never made that mistake again. See, failure isn’t a bad thing. We tend to learn more from our failures than our successes. I think thats something that Charlie and Emily can relate to.

  • There have been many times in life where I have been a loser. Both in leadership roles and in more competitive spaces. During high school I participated in Speech and Debate competitions, where almost every weekend you would stand in front of people and speak as they were there to literally judge and rank you. While it was nice to win at times I always seemed to learn the most when loosing. I could learn from the judges ballots and from my opponent on how to improve. Even outside of the speech and debate world these same lessons can be applied. We also have to look for ways to improve and grow when faced with a loss.

  • makayla freeman

    One of the most important things I have learned from losing is that it is okay to lose. I am a slight perfectionist when it comes to some things, so I want everything to go smoothly and well. In the past when something would not go well, I would get upset and start blaming myself thinking I did something wrong. Sometimes things are just not meant to be though. Sometimes you give 110% and have everything perfectly prepared and something will still fail. It is how you react to the failure though that is important. You take what you have learned and apply it to new situations, and you grow. It is also important to not dwell on the failure for longer than necessary because then you are holding yourself back from the successes of your future.

  • Kobe Parker

    Often when I think of losing I think of Michael Jordan’s famous quote, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Since I’ve always loved basketball I connect with this quote in particular better. I see it as you can’t truly win until you’ve lost. During the season or in life you’re going to lose, it’s just inevitable. You can choose to lay down and let it defeat you or you can learn from that lost and use it for the better. Fix the problem and give 110 percent effort next time.

  • Kyia Woodson

    I believe I can speak for most people when I say that losing is not a good feeling. Though losing is apart of life, when one fails it is very difficult to bounce back. However as Charlie and Emily talked about losing, it made me remember that a true leader is someone who fails but chooses to keep going. Losing is fundamental to being a good leader, because losing makes you have to think outside of the box and to assess yourself to become better and evolve. I used to take losing very harshly whether it be in my leadership or my daily life, but as I grew up and continued to fail and succeed I realize that failure is needed to thrive. The drive of not wanting to lose is what makes a person be sort of forced to become better and learn. Finally, the talk that we had on Tuesday really showed me that losing is not failure it is an opportunity to grow and learn.

  • Emily Cole

    I completely agree there are many lessons we can learn from losing, and that these lessons have the power to make us not only better leaders, but better human beings. I have been involved in music my whole life, and was a part of the Oklahoma All State Chorus for 6 years. My senior year of high school, the year that would have granted me a three year all state medal, I did not make the choir. I was extremely saddened by this because I had worked so hard for this my whole middle school and high school career. However, as time passed that wound healed; and I realized that there were much more important things to be focused on that whether or not I was in the choir that year. Because I did not make that choir, I was able to spend a whole week helping my grandfather and spend time with him who passed that Christmas Eve. We have to know that some opportunities don’t happen for us, because God, or whatever power one believes in, opens up new doors that take the place of things we only thought we needed. This lesson had applied to my development as a leader, as I can use this app experience to help others who are feeling discouraged about something they have lost, and encourage others to try and see past their own closed doors, and look to future experiences.

  • Ethan Hodson

    One thing that I can remember that stuck with me in regards to losing was a game I played last year in basketball. I played very well that game but I had to make 3 free throws at the end to tie the game. I made two and missed the last one, the worst part about it was that the team we lost to was a team we were expecting to beat. We were coming off the back of multiple straight wins, and it showed that as a leader I did not step up and make sure everyone was prepared for the game. It was also one of those times in sports where your coach is so mad you don’t think you will survive the next practice. For me, it was a valuable lesson in regards to preparation and execution. No matter what, even if I did not lead very well, I could have tied the game and I didn’t, so it firstly showed that I was missing something in my game. Secondly, it exposed that I was a primary reason why our team mentality was too laid back for the game. I learned to keep myself and my teammates sharp and focused for every game after that.

  • Lavender Cisneros

    I have most definitely had my fair share of losses. I was an athlete for almost my entire life up until college and let me tell you, it was rough. There were some big wins here and there, and of course I have great memories from the wins, but it was always the losses that stuck with me the most. For me it was my senior softball season that stuck with me. We lost every single one of our district games, it was devastating after our last game ended but I had always blamed it on our level of talent compared to the other teams. Now that I look back I see that we were never really a team to start with. Many players had a problem with our coach, because our coach was playing players on a basis of seniority. I thought it was a factor in our losses, but it turns out we never had a winning mindset to begin with. We had no faith in each other or our coaches and it costed us our whole season. This was very much a learning experience for me coming off of a back-to-back district championship. I’ve learned so much based on this experience from character, trust, to even responsibility and I am thankful for this experience because it really humbled us.

  • Jacqueline Lopez

    Losing is something no one wants to experience, but unfortunately we all do at some point in our lives. The times I have lost haven’t been easy. Losing has made me want to do better next time and to keep trying. Giving up has crossed my mind, but that’s not the answer. Succeeding is not always easy. This has informed my leadership development in the way to keep trying and push forward.

  • Kaylee Abernathy

    Being a loser is never fun. When we lose in certain aspects of our lives, we often times feel like we will never win again. Listening to Charlie Price and Emily Lang makes me think back on those failures of mine. Even though I felt in the lowest of the lows, I always came out on top. Many loses eventually shape into positive/winning outcomes. Losing has a bigger definition than what we often think it is. Losing causes us to learn way more than we ever would if we were winning. When we are in those low times, we are left wondering what we did wrong and how to change it. If we were simply winning we would never think about what we could do better next time. Although losing is never fun, its not much of a loss when you are learning.

  • shayna joseph

    In my life, losing as taught me the most impactful lessons. Throughout high school and now I have lost leadership positions, friends, loved ones, and more. I used to just see losing as a sign to give up, but once I figured how to learn from my mistakes and do better the next time I stopped giving up. It reminds me that nobody is perfect, losing is part of life, and it’s on me to turn the negatives into something I can learn from and improve upon. Losses can significantly shape on who you are as a leader.

  • Thomas Dunn

    While its not exactly a situation in which I lost, one story did come to mind. When I was a junior in high school I took this creative writing class and one of our assignments was to write a spoken word poem. I overestimated my ability and procrastinated it so the end product wasn’t something I was really proud of. Never the less, I had to present it in front of the class and boy my delivery was as bad as the poem itself. It felt like I’d lost even if it wasn’t really a competition. I let myself down more than anything. This defeat taught me to be more humble and to put in more effort up front because when I’m standing up in front of the class, or wherever I am when I need to perform, I will want that legwork to be done, so I can be in the moment, giving it my all.

  • I completely agreed with the idea of learning from the mistakes. In fact, I often heard people talking about success is the result of repeating trials and errors. For instance, a well known legendary scientist called Thomas Edison had to go through countless failures to eventually discovered the application of dusten wire on the light bulb.

    I remember during my work as a research assistant, my supervisor assigned me to train two new employers. But I was going at a friendly approach to an extend where they were not taking the jobs seriously. Lastly, the work did not go as planned and they stopped working after that. My initial thought was to not overwhelm the new employers but it ended making them not taking the job seriously. In a nutshell, I became aware of helping new employers to get used to the new environment while letting them know the right mindset while adapting the new job.

  • Ainsley Martinez

    For many years losing and failure was a huge fear of mine, and in many situations it still is. However, you can view losing as a motivator for ambition and drive. If you change the narrative of losing into something positive, it can actually strengthen your future goals. There is a certain pleasure in not having reached your goals yet, and I think it’s dismissed too often. The initial joy of reaching a goal lasts for a moment, but the desire of chasing a dream can feel infinite. Losing defeats complacency and continues the journey.
    It’s also important to put everything into perspective, and remember that life will move on in some form. I have lost awards, positions, and achievements that have really mattered to me- and at times thought I really deserved- but in retrospect everything panned out the way I wanted it to.

  • Sarah Stovall

    I think that my past failures have taught me resillence and patience. I have learned to be resilient by realizing that just because you fail it does not mean that you can’t try again. I have also learned patience by understanding that it is okay to fail. When we lose at something, it can hurt us in our pride, our self esteem, and in other aspects in our life. However, it is important to get back up and to remember the experiences you’ve had and move forward with them in mind. One way I can think of failing as something that was actually extremely beneficial for me was a time in high school when I had become a leader of an organization for the first time. It did not go well because I was unexperienced. Even though that was hard to go through, it helped me better my leadership skills and understand my peers better.There are a lot of lessons that can be learned in failure.

  • Kaitlin Johnson

    I am in theatre so there have been many, many times I didn’t get a part or even cast at all. While part of it could be I just wasn’t the look they wanted, it could also be talent based. I believe leaders are role models and the message I want others to learn from me is consistency and determination leads to success or growth. I knew I wasn’t the best singer so I took private voice lessons for 5 years and now I made it into a collegiate musical theatre program. I knew I wasn’t the best dancer so I stretched and took lessons and my senior year I was dance captain of show choir and choreographer of the school musical. I still lose but what I’ve learned is how to self evaluate, set goals for myself, and be disciplined enough to achieve them.

  • Isaiah Byrd

    losing is something that everybody feels at some point in their life. in my life I have experienced highs and lows and usually I see the most personal growth in my lowest point. Losing provides a chance to look at our own flaws and humble ourselves. Humility is a skill that any lead should have and nothing can teach a person humility first than failure.

  • Destini Pittman

    With certainty I can say that I have learned more from losing than winning. When I think of learning from losing one example automatically comes to mind. My sophomore year my schools drama department competed in the Oklahoma One-Act play competition and we did not do good. We were unprepared, we barely knew our lines and none knew their blocking. Obviously we were the most unprepared group and because of this our play did not get to move on in the competition. After this situation we got a new director who wanted us to do better the next time we competed. We knew what mistakes we made and our director made sure we fixed the mistakes. The next year we were so prepared and ready that we ended up placing and moving on to finals. This situation shows that even if things don’t go right the first time it’s still important to try and do better the next time. From this experience I learned that sometimes losing is an important step in learning.

  • bethany garrison

    To me personally, Life is all about losing and learning. At the state track meet my junior year, i competed in three races. In two of those races, we were ranked #1. That put a big target on us. One race in particular, the 4×800 meter relay, was very nerve racking and it was up to me, anchor, to get us that win and I burnt myself out, we were in second, i dropped us to third place, it was humiliating. I’m not saying third at state isn’t a big accomplishment because it is, but it was such a big let down to not only the relay but also our coach. It wasn’t till my brother talked to me, that i finally came to the conclusion that i couldnt do anything to change it now. all i could do was go and give it all on my next two races, and thats exactly what i did. I didn’t let that one loss get to me. I continued to be positive and level headed throughout the meet. we ended up winning the 4×400 race. I learned to stay positive, learn from our losses, and learn from our wins.

  • Avery Humphrey

    I have learned a lot from losing and it has strengthened my leadership and myself as a person throughout my life. One example of this is this semester, I had a very hard semester with a very difficult class load so that I could apply to nursing school in January to get a head start. Well because of the pandemic and me getting the virus I really struggled and ended up not getting the grade I desired. Although this was not ideal especially not when applying to nursing school. I learned so much about myself and my fight and want to be a nurse. It showed me that one bad grade does not define me and my will to get into the nursing program.

  • Valeria Carreno

    As a human I have had my big share of lost and mistakes throughout my life. To be honest when I have been able to learn the most is from my mistakes than when things have gone my way. Like any other person I do feel bad when this situations occur but they are the times where you get to grow the most as a person, you get to see different angles and new doors, while helping you learn from those mistakes and become a better person. As a leader I have had lessons from losing but the one that comes out the most was the time where I had to understand that my way of doing thing was not the best and it was the reason that cots me and my group the “best flight” title. For me it was a hard time but it helped me realized that the way I was teaching thing was not the best because it wasn’t reaching people the way it was supposed to. It helped realized that as a leader I was supposed to work with the team and for the team not just telling them what to do, I had to show them. It was also a moment of growth for me because It helped me become a better leader and we were able to get a higher place the next time. As leaders losing does not makes us less but it helps us become better we need to learn hos to get up and learn from what we did wrong so we can keep growing and learning in life.

  • Eden Waggoner

    Failure is a formative experience for any person, and it can teach you many things about yourself. Sometimes, when experiencing a failure that feels more significant to us, like in a situation where we work considerably hard for something and it does not end up working out the way we had hoped, we can learn that we are not as equipped to handle the feeling of failure as we had maybe thought we were before experiencing it. Failure is never a good feeling in the moment that it is happening, and it is easy to let yourself get overwhelmed by the difficulty of the situation instead of using it to shape you as a person and as a leader as it is happening. This is a common problem to get stuck on, but what really makes a leader is the ability to accept failures in a way that makes the experience into motivation as well as an opportunity for learning and improving oneself. In order to be successful overall, you must first learn how to handle being unsuccessful even in small-scale situations. Losing is always a big part of the journey of a leader, because when choosing to take on a leadership role you are automatically opening yourself up for failure as someone who holds a position of significance in a group of people. For this reason, in order to be leaders at all, we first need to learn to handle our losses with grace and intention rather than letting our losses dictate our direction.

  • emma sawyer

    I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned from losing is that it wasn’t meant for me at that moment. There have been so many times where I wanted something, and I told myself it was that or nothing. The worst loss I’ve experienced in college was not being slated for an exec position in my sorority and having someone else with no experience get the position. I was slated and elected into a position on a lower level that I considered a “silly” position and it ended up changing my life. My chapter saw what I did in that position and overwhelmingly elected me to serve as president. I learned more about growing up and dealing with things I don’t like in that situation than I had in any situation where I had succeeded.

  • Jacob Shuls

    To be completely honest I’ve spent most of my life losing, but from what I understand most of us do. However, as I’ve proceeded to lose I’ve learned that it’s not our losses that define us but how we react to them. In situations of loss we have to be able to analyze and understand what we did that caused us to lose and change it, and . In speech and debate I started out losing a lot at tournaments. after a while my coach told me to try and mimic the winners because, although it isn’t reflected in todays social climate understanding and listening to our opponents is an important way to grow. Losing is only a loss if you fail to take advantage of the opportunity that it presents, to learn.

  • Fatima Alconz

    Life is always about losing and winning. You need to sacrifice some things in other to achieve something. Even when in the moment it looks smaller you are always creating something bigger. Every small thing that happened to us has an impact for our future. I always liked to participated in the groupal games at the camps organized by my church back hime in Bolivia. So I remember one time when my team actually lost and people around me where really angry. But I feel like i do not have a competitive spirit in a way where i can get angry. So, that time I was sad but also it was fine for me, but i needed to show a good posture in order to bring calm to my friends around me. Then I just tried to encourage them and said we guys, we did a great job or you were amazing in that game, maybe also trying to focus in the good things we did and analyze those that were wrong to do it better the next time. I remember durign the talked Charlie and Emily said that they always analyze what they made wrong so the next time they do not loss because of the same mistake. This is something that I want to really think about, analyze the mistake I made and do not do it again the next time. So I can grow in my leadership and as a human. I also rememer that they said every moment that you are losing or you are having troubles to solve something it is the right opporunity to win to yourself, to just overcome yourself. And I really like this idea of overcome to myself and see the lost or troubles as a challenge where I am growing up and to share a new experience to help and encourage others. Lost in different ways in life have teach me that my posture in that moment is very important and bring peace to the people around me will help me to just be calm and take comfort to my heart.

  • Augustus Cook

    I think a lot of the best lessons we learn, we learn from failure. As an athlete, I learn more from the races that I have lost than from the ones that I won. It’s very easy to brush over and ignore your mistakes when the overall outcome is successful. If I had a bad finish in a race, but I still won it, then I would be motivated to work on my finish to get better of course, but not as much because I had still won. However, at the 2019 National Championships, I lost a race by 0.02 seconds. I had a bad finish that race, and ever since I have been consumed with improving my finish. The loss, especially by such a close margin motivates me much more than any victory. In my opinion, there is nothing like the humiliation of losing to light a fire in one’s soul.