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_7C41839_GEESE
sneese April 11, 2017
flock, geese, goals, goose, goslings, squad, twitter, uco
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UCO

#FlockGoals: The UCO Geese Story

UCO’s resident geese are no strangers to the spotlight. They’ve been entertaining students for years, first on campus, and now on Twitter, as @UCOGeese.

The UCO Geese Twitter account is an extremely popular student-run account, with more than 800 followers. Inside Central got an exclusive interview with the anonymous student who runs the @UCOGeese account, and he/she wants to inform students that the geese are royalty and demand to be treated as such.

This is their story.

The word on the street is that they come from a very prestigious Canadian goose family. According to our anonymous source, the UCO geese are “of a higher deity than anyone else around them,” which means that we have some seriously special geese waddling around. Sources tell us that their favorite place to hang out on campus is on top of tall buildings, so they can maintain the higher ground and establish dominance over the students – because, after all, they are better than everyone else.

It has been said that the geese establish their high-glam nests on Central’s campus, because it’s a great place to raise their royal goslings. The first order of business when they arrived on campus was to take over Broncho Lake, another flock favorite, and they’ve been slowly expanding ever since.

Did you know that every female goose can lay between 2-9 eggs? This means that we could be expecting upwards of 30 royal goslings this spring! We know that students love to interact with the geese, but @UCOGeese has warned us to please proceed with caution and give them space. They will be protecting their nests at all costs, even if it means nibbling on someone’s toe.

Though not a surprise, our source says that the UCO geese love to be fed, but they mentioned that they are on a strict no-bread diet. To stay on their good side, feed them cooked rice, birdseed or halved grapes. Please do not feed the geese bread, because it makes them sick and goes straight to their hips. They are really trying to maintain their goosley figures.

@UCOGeese says that the geese are all for making friends, as long as students are aware that they are always going to be better than them. They will be kind to those who are kind to them, unless they just feel like trolling people that day – then, you’re out of luck.

At the end of our chat, we asked about the gaggle’s goals and aspirations; we were told that their ultimate goal is to eventually take over the world. So, respect the geese, because let’s be honest. They’re definitely #SquadGoals.

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